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| Ok...so it's been over a month since I last wrote...Tommy: no more....Roadhouse: last night tonight....Car: 2003 Chevy Cavalier Z24....Ok, so thats the quickie version. Tonight is my last night at roadhouse...kinda bittersweet. If I dont cry then I know I'm actually ready to move on...I cried when I left Southport and we all know I came back...lol. I just think it's the time in my life to move on. I'm dating someone I work with, I'm watching all of my friends leave, we have all new management, and I just need to make more money. I have them as a cushion to fall back on though...my managers have all given me an open invite back to the store. I'm hoping to get a job at Cheeseburger in Paradise. Pray for me...I need that job. I now have financial obligations to worry about...aka-my new car. I just got it this past friday. I'm still trying to sell my truck but I got a loan for this new car in the meantime. I love it...its silver, two doors, and has a sunroof. Woot woot! It's so fun to drive, too....
So I stepped foot in the high school today...talk about weird. As much as I swear I hate that place...I miss how easy life was when I was there. I miss all of my friends from school like crazy...it almost seems like I may never see any of them again...and thats a little scary. Friendships are taken so lightly anymore. People look at them as things that come and go...thats rough. I personally take my friendships seriously and love every single one of my friends. Some of them...I would do nearly anything for...but I never get the chance to talk to them so much these days....I miss them...a lot.
Oh well...enough rambling on my part....lots of love and later days... | | |
| Went to connersville this weekend and took Tommy (not my brother) along:
Ah...good weekend.... | | |
| So....wow, my frosh year is basically over. Crazy to think of all the changes I've been through this year. I've struggled quite a bit up until recently. I just can't wait for summer....concerts, state fair, cook outs, campfires, softball, camping...goodness, it's gonna be amazing. I already have Rascal Flatts tickets...5th row baby! I'm stoked. Work is going amazingly well...Weird to think that after 3 years, I still love my job. Well gotta go jump in the shower...lots of love and later days | | |
| Ok, so I told a little white lie...I'm gonna post again...Brace yourself, this is gonna be a long one! :) So, I havent posted anything for almost 2 months...wow, a lot has been going on since then, too! Uhm...well, I started to date Scott, whom is the most amazing guy I've ever met in my life. It didn't work out because he "doesn't want to date someone he works with," but I know that he's just scared of relationships. We are still friends and he still has my heart, our timing just isn't right. I personally am still holding on to the fact that we will be together at least once more because you can see it just by the way we look at each other. I know that may sound stupid, but...I know what I feel and when I look at him, it feels good. Frustrating at times, don't get me wrong, but overall, he gives me that feeling that I thought I'd never ever feel again. Valentine's Day...was interesting like always. I had to work...with Scott...now, this was shortly after he broke things off, so it was a rough night. Plus, my car had broken down the night before, so that was just fantastic. Uhm...nothing too special about the rest of the month. Just kinda went back and forth with my emotions from Scott, and school crap. I started serving the last week of it so that was pimptastic. Some people that had graduated a year before I had came into Roadhouse to eat and invited me to hang out so I did and I met this super cool guy, Chris who lived in the apartment I went to. He's a stellar guy. Super nice and funny. I just wish I could commit to someone as nice as him. I just can't get myself to do it. My heart is still with Scott, and everyone knows it. I would just be fooling myself and leading Chris on and I couldn't do that. Wow, I just kinda skipped a bunch...like the whole first half of March...My b-day was...pretty good. It ended a little rough (a.k.a-me drunken passed out by myself...yeah.) All in all, it was the best birthday ever, just had a moment of let down, but ya know, that's the story of life. Renee stood out like a freaking shining star, and I love her for it. She is probably my best friend and I'm super bummed that she's gotta move back to her hometown, Connersville, at the end of the school year. You better believe I'm gonna be down there every single weekend! Ok, maybe not every weekend, but I'll be down there a lot. I'm still working all the damn time. I love serving at Roadhouse, it's amazing. Soooo much better money, too. It's more of my element than hostessing. Now, don't get me wrong, I was a damn good hostess, and it wasn't too hateful of a job, I just like serving 100 times better!  So I think that leads me up to this past week. I'm in New Mexico finally! It's even prettier than I had imagined. The mountains...are amazing! I'll put pics up on here when I get back to Indy and can get online on my laptop. A lot has gone on while I'm here. I've had to manage the whole Chris situation. I stepped down from my chance at OTEAM and student mentoring. I'm just not doing as well in school as I had wished and I don't think I could take the added stress of OTEAM and mentoring. I plan on applying again once I get comfortable with school, but now just isn't the time. I am a firm believer in timing. (if you couldnt already tell haha). I think it was a wise decision on my part. Now, I have to find other scholarships...lovely. Another lovely event that happened while I was out here is that Kerri called me last night...yeah. She actually apologized...her dog got hit by a car and killed so she called me to tell me that and tell me that she misses talking to me. Let me tell ya, I was blown away by this. It's kinda nice that I'm out here and I didn't have to rush over to see her. I just can't jump right back into it like that. I'm not gonna leave her in the dirt though, I mean she's the one that called me for once. We'll see what happens when I get home. I'll tell you what though, there are a lot of things on my plate and I'm kinda excited to see how it all turns out. Life is good...complicated, but good. I wouldn't have it any other way, ya know? Wow, I've probably lost everyone's attention because this is so long. Well, I'll let it all absorb... Lots of love and later days.... | | |
| Ok, since no one really seems to read this anymore, this is going to be my last entry. The people who need to know can get ahold of me if they'd like.
I'm dealing with the fact that I'm single and probably will be for a long time...or at least until some freak accident causes me to meet prince charming. haha. I wish nothing more than to find Mr. Right and have him sweep me off my feet and be engaged by the time I graduate college...but I'm not getting my hopes up. I know a lot of these posts have been bashing love, but deep down I want nothing more than to love and be loved by that special guy, but until that day comes...I'm okay with what I have in front of me.
School...well, is school. Things are going well though. I'm still awaiting to see if I was accepted as a student mentor...I really hope I do, that would be the pimp shit.
I really don't think I'm going to New Mexico now even if I don't make OTEAM. There are so many things I could be doing here. It would save money for sure. I'll probably go visit, but nothing more than a week or two. I just it would be a better idea to stick around Indy. Hell, there are plenty of things I still haven't seen here or in other places around the Midwest. Plus, my girl Jordyn is gonna be in Indy this summer.
That leads me to my friends. I still haven't talked to Kerri and I don't miss her one bit. Honestly, I don't feel bad saying it either. She fucked herself out of a best friend...I have plenty of people who are 100 times more dependable than she'll ever be. Jordyn and I have befriended another girl in our math class. The three of us together is NUTS!!! I love it though. Facebook def has some interesting pictures on it now. lol. I have a few friends coming home to Indy in a few weeks. One is coming from Florida to say goodbye before he leaves for the Marines. The other is a friend in the Marines coming home just to visit. I can't wait! I just hate the fact that once again I'm gonna have to say good bye. I'm not good with those. It's a part of growing up though.
I'm still growing up and constantly changing for the better. It's so hard to be comfortable in your own skin, but I'm getting there slowly every day. I'm a work in progress, nowhere near perfect. Take it or leave it.
Well, xanga readers...this is farewell. To those I hold dear to my heart, I love you. Be sure to keep in contact with me...if you have myspace, find me...I'm on there. Best wishes, lots of love, and later days...Keep it real homies.
*Blast from the Past: Feels like forever ago...
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*Myself, Jordyn, and her beau Taylor
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*Steph and I lookin' all western :)
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